1
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,809
Yes, Daddy.

2
00:00:54,810 --> 00:00:56,430
He should have been home ages ago.

3
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,989
He's calling in somewhere on his way
back from work.

4
00:00:58,990 --> 00:01:02,589
Ah, a couple of whiskies at the Heron
Hounds. He'll come home in a good mood.

5
00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:06,210
He's not at the Heron Hounds. He's gone
to the doctor's. Why?

6
00:01:06,211 --> 00:01:07,889
What's the matter with him?

7
00:01:07,890 --> 00:01:10,809
With the price of whisky these days,
he's probably trying to get it on

8
00:01:10,810 --> 00:01:11,860
prescription.

9
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:15,270
What can a doctor do for a fellow in his
condition?

10
00:01:15,271 --> 00:01:19,349
He hasn't been looking his usual self
for the last week, so I'm making him

11
00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:21,640
a check -up. Oh, he hates going to the
doctor's.

12
00:01:21,641 --> 00:01:23,909
And he can't stand a medical
examination.

13
00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:25,470
I know, but it's for his own good.

14
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,900
The only thing he can do for his own
good is have a body transplant.

15
00:01:28,901 --> 00:01:35,669
Blasted doctor, what are you sending me
there for? Two solid hours I was in that

16
00:01:35,670 --> 00:01:36,810
plumbing waiting room.

17
00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:38,730
What did he say, Sid?

18
00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:40,269
Did he examine you, Danny?

19
00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:41,149
He did.

20
00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:42,590
Stripped stark as he had me.

21
00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:44,530
I'll bet that cleared the surgery.

22
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:50,640
Didn't the doctor put his finger on
anything specific?

23
00:01:54,550 --> 00:01:56,470
Yeah, just before he told me to cough.

24
00:01:57,571 --> 00:02:01,169
There's nothing wrong with me, he says.

25
00:02:01,170 --> 00:02:02,189
Nothing at all.

26
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:05,009
I'm in the pinker condition. It's all in
the mind, he says.

27
00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:07,930
I don't believe you. You're not telling
me the truth.

28
00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:09,520
What is it, Daddy?

29
00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:11,710
Come on, Dad. We can take it.

30
00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:16,510
Just my age, he says. Stupid woman.
Quack.

31
00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:17,950
Your age? Yes.

32
00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:19,240
What a cheek.

33
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:20,810
But you're still quite young.

34
00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:23,200
You're still in the youth of your old
age.

35
00:02:23,881 --> 00:02:25,969
That's it.

36
00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:28,570
That's happened one day, Dad. The change
of life.

37
00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:33,869
Oh, be quiet, Mike. Go on, Sid. Well, he
said, now that I've reached my prime...

38
00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:34,930
He said that?

39
00:02:35,750 --> 00:02:36,800
Reached your prime?

40
00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:39,540
Well, not exactly, but that's what he
meant.

41
00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:41,140
Well, go on.

42
00:02:41,141 --> 00:02:43,409
I'm trying to, but you keep chipping in
all of it.

43
00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:46,420
So there's nothing wrong with you.
You're just at a funny age.

44
00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:49,230
There's nothing funny about my age.

45
00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:52,730
But you're not saying anything specific,
Sid.

46
00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:55,600
Oh, bloody thing was a waste of time.

47
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,170
Even his bleeding stethoscope was
freezing cold.

48
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,650
Well, is that all that's wrong, that
you're not at a funny age?

49
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:05,090
Well, didn't he give you anything for
it?

50
00:03:05,091 --> 00:03:09,339
What could he possibly give a poor,
broken -down old cart horse who's given

51
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:10,959
best years of his life to you, look?

52
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,499
Not even a tonic or something to pep you
up? I don't need anything to pep me up.

53
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:17,259
There's nothing wrong with me. He just
said I need an interest, a hobby of some

54
00:03:17,260 --> 00:03:18,440
kind. Hobby? Yes.

55
00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:21,350
And I understand they're stalkers, do
hear that?

56
00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:23,740
The doctor's right, Sid.

57
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,400
A man does need a hobby.

58
00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:28,790
He needs an interest, something you can
get your teeth into.

59
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,960
There's a tumbler in the bathroom.

60
00:03:32,431 --> 00:03:34,459
Sorry, Daddy.

61
00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:37,859
I was only trying to cheer you up. I
don't need cheering up, and I don't need

62
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:41,230
hobby. Come on, Mum. Hurry up. Feed him.
I want to borrow a couple of quid.

63
00:03:41,231 --> 00:03:44,979
I'll get you dinner, darling. When
you've eaten, you'll be in a better

64
00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:46,060
then we can all decide.

65
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:47,890
Decide what?

66
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,770
Decide which hobby you're going to take
up.

67
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,370
Let's see, Mike. What could he do?

68
00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:56,210
He could collect car numbers.

69
00:03:56,461 --> 00:03:58,189
That's it.

70
00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:01,080
He could sit on the front doorstep with
a little notebook.

71
00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:03,630
You can have my stamp collection.

72
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:07,110
Or my collection of seashells. Don't be
silly, you two.

73
00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:12,289
A man of your father's intelligence and
talents needs something creative and

74
00:04:12,290 --> 00:04:13,530
taxing and interesting.

75
00:04:13,990 --> 00:04:15,550
Thank you, Donna. It's very kind.

76
00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:17,030
I'll teach you how to knit.

77
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,500
Knit?

78
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,390
Need the new pullover?

79
00:04:23,391 --> 00:04:24,649
Long sleeves, please.

80
00:04:24,650 --> 00:04:26,210
I could do with the new cardigan.

81
00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:27,320
Oh, of course.

82
00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:37,230
How's it going, Trevor?

83
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:39,310
Great. There you are.

84
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,100
There's your heater.

85
00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:44,190
And there's your light.

86
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,810
See? Smashing, isn't it?

87
00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:48,850
Complete topical fish aquarium.

88
00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:52,420
Do you think he'll like it? Oh, yeah.
He'll be dead chuffed with that.

89
00:04:52,490 --> 00:04:55,250
You don't think the fish are a bit
small, do you? No.

90
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,450
He's never caught any bigger than that.

91
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:04,209
I've got a book of instructions on all
different kinds of fish and feeding and

92
00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:06,090
care, and you can even breed them.

93
00:05:06,091 --> 00:05:07,269
Oh, well.

94
00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:09,320
That'll be a perfect hobby for Sid,
then.

95
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:10,790
Won't make plenty of sex in it.

96
00:05:10,791 --> 00:05:15,829
I'll nip off now, and then I'll come
back later on and see if he likes it,

97
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:16,880
right? Bye, Trent.

98
00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:18,020
Bye.

99
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,560
Where is he? Out somewhere.

100
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,840
Where did you put his desk?

101
00:05:25,841 --> 00:05:27,019
In the hall.

102
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,100
Here's your fish food.

103
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,540
Do you think he'll like it?

104
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,010
I don't know.

105
00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:33,380
Try putting some in his tea.

106
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:38,690
Go and keep an eye out for your father.
He'll be here in a minute.

107
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,460
Oh, it's a lovely surprise, Mummy. I'm
sure he'll be very pleased.

108
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,960
Isn't it marvellous the way all those
kind of fish all live together?

109
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,700
Pity people can't do the same.

110
00:05:49,701 --> 00:05:53,659
They probably would do if they all lived
underwater in a little tank.

111
00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,710
Oh,

112
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,340
Sally, go and stand over there.

113
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:03,580
Now, you keep very quiet, and when he
comes in, we'll say, surprise, surprise.

114
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,000
He's taking a long time.

115
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:14,840
Do you think he's lost his key?

116
00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:22,029
Yes, it's me.

117
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,420
Well, close your eyes.

118
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,160
What are you talking about?

119
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,700
Never mind, just close your eyes.

120
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,140
Oh, Blimey, all right.

121
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,600
Are they closed? Yes, yes, yes.

122
00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:37,079
Well, I'm going to put the door on the
latch, but you're not to come in until I

123
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,840
call you. What's going on here?

124
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,800
Never mind, and keep your eyes closed.
Yes, all right.

125
00:07:00,470 --> 00:07:01,550
Surprise, surprise!

126
00:07:04,510 --> 00:07:09,370
All right,

127
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,110
Joey, shut up a minute. Close your beak.

128
00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:20,270
All right, now, you lot, that's Cedric,
that's Joey.

129
00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:22,600
All right?

130
00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:25,600
I want you all to remember we're one big
happy family.

131
00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:31,989
And if I catch either of you two diving
in there for a quick fish supper, I

132
00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:35,840
shall lock you in a tool shed with that
bloody great ginger cat from next door.

133
00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:38,720
Right.

134
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:42,900
How is it, Sid?

135
00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:44,200
Oh, it's great.

136
00:07:44,201 --> 00:07:47,849
Marvellous. Look at it. Like a tropical
lagoon in there. You can almost hear the

137
00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:49,170
surf pounding on the shore.

138
00:07:49,910 --> 00:07:51,870
All he needs now is a bucket and spade.

139
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:54,220
Pardon?

140
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:56,310
I said what a lovely hobby it's made.

141
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,390
Oh, yes, lovely. It's great. I love it.

142
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:01,560
Now then, what's that little beauty
there?

143
00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:03,470
Oh, yes.

144
00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:06,290
Now, that's a pterophyllum scolari.

145
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,050
A pterophyllum what?

146
00:08:08,390 --> 00:08:09,440
An angelfish.

147
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,340
Oh, there's a pretty one, Daddy. What's
that called?

148
00:08:13,341 --> 00:08:14,409
That one?

149
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,460
Oh,

150
00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:18,880
yeah, well, I knew that. That's a
lobustes reticulatus.

151
00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:21,770
Really? Yes. It says there it's called a
guppy.

152
00:08:21,771 --> 00:08:24,829
Yeah, well, that's just for ignorant
twit amateurs who don't know the proper

153
00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:25,880
name.

154
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,610
Look at that one on the bottom of the
tank.

155
00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:31,920
It hasn't moved at all.

156
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,650
Perhaps it's asleep.

157
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,370
Hang on.

158
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:42,339
Oh, yes. He spends most of his time
motionless on the bottom of the tank,

159
00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:44,260
the appearance of always being asleep.

160
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,460
And what's he called?

161
00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:47,160
He's Kipper.

162
00:08:58,229 --> 00:08:59,470
Courting? I hope not.

163
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:03,750
Why? They're both fellas. Cut that out,
you two.

164
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:08,389
Oh, it's a good life, you know, Daddy.
In the warm with all your family. No

165
00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:09,670
problems. Free food.

166
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,610
Just floating around all day with
nothing to do.

167
00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:14,530
I wonder how it feels.

168
00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:15,940
You know how it feels.

169
00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:18,830
Stop breathing on the glass, please.

170
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,840
Oh, come on, Sally. Let's leave him to
it.

171
00:09:20,841 --> 00:09:23,369
Would you like a cup of coffee, darling?

172
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:24,450
No, then. What are you?

173
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,889
Amacaris cordimaculatus.

174
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:34,470
Meaning of name, with hooked
condamodium.

175
00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:38,630
With spot on cordal peduncle.

176
00:09:40,950 --> 00:09:42,190
Poor little sod.

177
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,490
Now then, who are you?

178
00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:48,000
Daddy?

179
00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:49,970
Comes from eastern Mexico.

180
00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:55,370
The main characteristics of... Aye, aye,
aye. I told you to. Cut it out.

181
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,090
Can we go in yet, Mum?

182
00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:03,590
When your father says it, it's all
right.

183
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,920
Oh, come on. All we've heard about for
weeks is fish, fish, fish.

184
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,430
It's very good for him to have an
interest.

185
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:12,510
Well, a hobby's one thing, but an
obsession is another.

186
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:14,440
He's forgotten we live here, Mummy.

187
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,840
Can I get you something, darling?

188
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:24,580
You see what I mean?

189
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:25,850
That's ridiculous.

190
00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:29,430
If he carries on like this, he'll
soon... You'd be taking him out for

191
00:10:29,431 --> 00:10:33,549
Would you mind keeping quiet in there,
please? You're disturbing my fish.

192
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,150
Thank you, Jacques Cousteau.

193
00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:38,550
He can't keep us out of our own living
room.

194
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,710
But don't disturb him.

195
00:10:41,110 --> 00:10:42,160
Er, what?

196
00:10:44,430 --> 00:10:46,290
Pseudoxyphophoros? The maculatus?

197
00:10:48,030 --> 00:10:49,470
That's a mouthful, isn't it?

198
00:10:49,471 --> 00:10:52,669
I tell you what, if I weren't you, I'd
knock twice and shout Fred.

199
00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:53,720
Shall we try?

200
00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:56,100
Fred?

201
00:10:59,689 --> 00:11:00,739
Well done, Fred.

202
00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:06,140
Hey, hey.

203
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:07,910
What do you think you're doing?

204
00:11:07,911 --> 00:11:11,229
I think I'm turning the television on.
Well, just switch it off. We won't need

205
00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:12,280
that any more.

206
00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:16,610
What the hell is that?

207
00:11:17,350 --> 00:11:18,790
This is going to be number one.

208
00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:20,040
Not in here, is it?

209
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:21,749
You'll get my fish in a truck instead.

210
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:24,929
Of course it won't. They'll like it.
They will not like it. They're swimmers,

211
00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:25,980
not cowgirl dancers.

212
00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:30,630
I can't see what you see in them.

213
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:34,620
Well, naturally, in your case, they'd
have to be on a plate with some chips.

214
00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:37,520
Don't do that!

215
00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:41,550
It's all right, Fred. It wasn't me.

216
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,820
They say that pets grow to look like
their owners, Mike.

217
00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:47,170
I can see what they mean.

218
00:11:47,430 --> 00:11:48,480
Look at that one.

219
00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:49,840
Oh, yes.

220
00:11:50,450 --> 00:11:52,130
Look at the bags under its eyes.

221
00:11:52,131 --> 00:11:57,709
There you go. A push -off. Shove -off
for two of you. What's this? What's the

222
00:11:57,710 --> 00:11:58,809
thermometer for, Daddy?

223
00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:01,609
It's to keep the water the proper
temperature, 75 degrees.

224
00:12:01,610 --> 00:12:02,750
Oh, it must be broken.

225
00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:04,690
It says 55 degrees.

226
00:12:06,630 --> 00:12:07,680
What?

227
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:10,560
Oh, no, somebody switched off the
heater. Mind that.

228
00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:14,070
Did you pull that plug out?

229
00:12:14,071 --> 00:12:17,589
No. What's the matter, Sid? He's
sabotaged him. He's pulled the plug out.

230
00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:21,269
Oh, don't be ridiculous. I pulled the
plug out to stick the vacuum cleaner.

231
00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:22,109
not being ridiculous.

232
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,670
Put that back in and switch it on.

233
00:12:23,890 --> 00:12:25,750
It's a matter of life and death to them.

234
00:12:25,751 --> 00:12:29,769
Well, blimey, look at this. It's only 55
degrees in here. They'll snuff it.

235
00:12:29,770 --> 00:12:31,030
They'll die of frostbite.

236
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:34,820
Look at that poor little boy. Look at
him down there.

237
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:37,630
No, look, he's turning blue already.

238
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:39,850
He was blue to start with.

239
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:41,190
Don't panic, Daddy.

240
00:12:41,710 --> 00:12:43,270
Don't stand there. Do something.

241
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,250
Shall I ring the RSPCA?

242
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:46,830
No, no, no. Get along.

243
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,330
Oh, it's done already.

244
00:12:48,331 --> 00:12:50,329
Well, go and boil it. Get some hot
water.

245
00:12:50,330 --> 00:12:51,380
Lots of hot water.

246
00:12:51,510 --> 00:12:53,110
He's like a mad midwife.

247
00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:55,510
You can't put hot... water in there,
Daddy?

248
00:12:55,511 --> 00:12:58,249
Of course I can. It's an emergency. I
know what I'm doing. Come on, Jean. Give

249
00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:00,229
me the hot water. What temperature is
it?

250
00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:02,700
I don't know. I couldn't get my elbow in
the kettle.

251
00:13:03,790 --> 00:13:05,590
It's got to be the right temperature.

252
00:13:34,651 --> 00:13:41,379
I didn't find your father this morning.
No, I didn't. But I'm sure it'll be all

253
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:42,760
right. He definitely agreed.

254
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,320
Yeah, we asked him a week ago.

255
00:13:44,321 --> 00:13:47,619
Well, he didn't say anything to me about
it. Well, it's all arranged.

256
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:50,559
Our friends are coming round at nine o
'clock this evening. It's all fixed.

257
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,979
And he said he'd take you out for the
evening so that we could have the house

258
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,030
ourselves.

259
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,960
He didn't tell me we were going out.

260
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:58,770
We'll give you a pound to take him to
the pictures.

261
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,220
We haven't got a pound.

262
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:01,780
We'll get it from Daddy.

263
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,130
Evening, all.

264
00:14:06,140 --> 00:14:07,340
Hello, P. Hello, darling.

265
00:14:07,341 --> 00:14:08,369
Have a good day.

266
00:14:08,370 --> 00:14:11,920
Are the fish all right? Oh, they're
fine. But I think they've missed you

267
00:14:11,921 --> 00:14:16,009
Yeah. A few minutes ago, one of them
popped his head over the top of the tank

268
00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:17,870
and said, when's our kid coming home?

269
00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:21,050
That must have been Fred.

270
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:26,380
Daddy, you haven't forgotten about
tonight, have you?

271
00:14:27,210 --> 00:14:30,710
Daddy! Let him look at his fish,
darling. First things first.

272
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,180
Fred!

273
00:14:35,110 --> 00:14:36,160
There's a good boy.

274
00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:37,630
Dinner time.

275
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,320
Your dinner's ready, Sid.

276
00:14:39,321 --> 00:14:42,419
It's in the oven. I don't want it to get
shriveled up. Yeah, well, I want to

277
00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:43,470
feed my fish first.

278
00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:45,400
Oh, Sid, do that later.

279
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,800
It's not that important.

280
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,340
I'm getting a bit fed up with fish.

281
00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:50,660
Yeah, all right, then.

282
00:14:50,661 --> 00:14:54,179
All right, fellas, I'm going to have my
dinner, then I'll give you yours.

283
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:55,230
What is it?

284
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,350
Sardines on toast.

285
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,350
Sardines on toast?

286
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,420
You don't think I've got...

287
00:15:04,421 --> 00:15:07,859
You don't think I'm going to eat a
little sardine on toast in front of his

288
00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:08,910
mates?

289
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:11,850
Well, if you eat it in here, they won't
see, will they?

290
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:16,330
Would you eat Joey on a piece of toast
in front of Cedric?

291
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,000
All right, fellas.

292
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:24,960
Come and get it. Din -dins.

293
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,340
Don't give them too much, Sid. I fed
them at lunchtime.

294
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,100
No need to feed them at all. I did it
this afternoon.

295
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:35,730
Yeah, well, I gave him a couple of
handfuls about 20 minutes ago.

296
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:39,410
Don't you realise it's dangerous to
overfeed him?

297
00:15:39,411 --> 00:15:42,319
Daddy, you haven't forgotten about
tonight, have you?

298
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,259
Look at that.

299
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:44,939
Look what you've done here. Look at
that.

300
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:47,359
What? Look at that poor little devil
down there. Look at him.

301
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,160
Look at his belly. It's all swollen up.

302
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,440
Oh, yes, look at the size of him.

303
00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:53,400
He must be greedier than the rest.

304
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,060
There's one in every family.

305
00:15:55,061 --> 00:15:59,819
You haven't forgotten about tonight,
have you, Dad? You said you'd take Mummy

306
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:01,639
out so we could have the house to
ourselves.

307
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:02,780
You did agree, darling.

308
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:08,079
And leave my fish lying here with a load
of long -haired layabouts stomping

309
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,370
around, chucking their faggons in the
water.

310
00:16:10,780 --> 00:16:11,980
They're not like that.

311
00:16:11,981 --> 00:16:15,339
Now, I've seen what some of your age
group can do to a railway carriage. I

312
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,979
wouldn't give half a chance to this
tank.

313
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:19,270
Well, Mike and Sally's friends are very
nice.

314
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:22,420
Sorry, it's all... Daddy, you can't do
that. It's all arranged.

315
00:16:22,421 --> 00:16:23,539
Oh, see.

316
00:16:23,540 --> 00:16:25,120
All right, all right, all right.

317
00:16:25,121 --> 00:16:27,699
I'll move it somewhere else, all right?
Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Daddy.

318
00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:28,750
Thank you, darling.

319
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,190
Pleasure. I'll put the sardines back in
the tin.

320
00:16:32,751 --> 00:16:34,479
Hello, Sid.

321
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,530
Hello, mate.

322
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,040
How they doing, then? Great.

323
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,880
They're getting 14 meals a day.

324
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,150
14?

325
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,059
That's far too much, Sid. I know it's
too much. Blimey, look at that poor...

326
00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:48,500
Look at him down there. Where?

327
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,720
Fat as a pig he is. Look at him. Look at
his belly, all swollen up.

328
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,390
That's not from over -eating, Sid. What
do you mean?

329
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:57,890
Congratulations.

330
00:17:00,490 --> 00:17:01,850
That fish is in the club.

331
00:17:03,770 --> 00:17:05,510
Gene, I'm going to be a daddy.

332
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:10,290
Well done,

333
00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:13,060
Fred. Fred?

334
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:15,650
Well, I thought she was a fella.

335
00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:17,680
Where's she gone?

336
00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:21,250
I'll help yourself to some big cigars.
You have some too.

337
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:22,589
Me? Yes, little ones.

338
00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:24,030
Oh, thank you very much.

339
00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:25,849
Clever girl, isn't she?

340
00:17:27,091 --> 00:17:28,739
Oh, Daddy.

341
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:30,970
It's all right, all right. I'm being
careful.

342
00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:32,670
There we are.

343
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,540
There you go, Fred.

344
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,980
Sit. You can't keep calling her Fred
now.

345
00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:39,720
It's the only name she knows.

346
00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:43,010
Here we are, darling. All nice and safe
on your own.

347
00:17:43,011 --> 00:17:44,899
When will she give birth, Daddy?

348
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,280
I haven't the faintest idea.

349
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:51,260
According to this, she could give birth
to at least 30 or 40 little ones.

350
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:53,050
Blimey, rather her than me.

351
00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:57,580
Do you realise, Daddy, you could become
the father of a show?

352
00:17:57,581 --> 00:18:01,269
Come on, Dad, hurry up. The crowd will
be here soon. Yeah, all right. Darling,

353
00:18:01,270 --> 00:18:02,590
give me a hand here, please.

354
00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:03,700
Yes, dear.

355
00:18:03,701 --> 00:18:06,569
All right, now you keep an eye on Mum.
I'll get this upstairs.

356
00:18:06,570 --> 00:18:07,620
Not in the bedroom.

357
00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:10,680
Yes. We'll have an early night. You two
keep a noise down.

358
00:18:14,530 --> 00:18:18,549
Mike, it's heavy. Come and give me a
hand. Hang on, Dad. You will never get

359
00:18:18,550 --> 00:18:20,729
upstairs with all the water in it. I'll
get you a bucket.

360
00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:21,780
Right.

361
00:18:23,650 --> 00:18:26,060
Hey, you're supposed to be keeping an
eye on her.

362
00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:27,950
Oh, Sid, what a lot of fuss.

363
00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:32,730
If I remember rightly, when I was having
Sally, you were down at the pub.

364
00:18:32,731 --> 00:18:35,929
Yeah, well, this is different, isn't it?
I mean, you're only having one.

365
00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:37,190
She's having 30 -odd.

366
00:18:37,191 --> 00:18:38,349
Here you are, Dad.

367
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:41,349
One bucket. Now, if you fill this up
with water, we can pour it back in when

368
00:18:41,350 --> 00:18:41,889
get upstairs.

369
00:18:41,890 --> 00:18:42,940
Right. Here, Sal.

370
00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:46,300
Yeah, right. Keep the fish up that end.
Right. Keep the spot clear.

371
00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:47,700
That's it.

372
00:18:47,970 --> 00:18:49,020
Right.

373
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:54,220
All right, I'll get it started. Here we
go.

374
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,140
Daddy!

375
00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:05,610
I wish you wouldn't do that.

376
00:19:06,690 --> 00:19:09,400
Daddy, I think there was a fish near the
end of the tube.

377
00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:11,140
It disappeared.

378
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:12,750
Oh, go on now, goodness.

379
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,810
Oh, no, it's all right. There it is. You
haven't swallowed it.

380
00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,060
Thank God for that.

381
00:19:18,310 --> 00:19:21,140
What you swallowed was one of those
little water snails.

382
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:07,470
Will you put the blanket down, please?

383
00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:11,790
Is this absolutely necessary? I want to
go to sleep.

384
00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:14,080
See?

385
00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:19,460
Don't do that.

386
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:21,660
It's the only way I can keep the water
warm.

387
00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:22,840
It's ridiculous.

388
00:20:22,841 --> 00:20:26,549
Well, I've got a pregnant tropical fish
here. She's got to be kept warm.

389
00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:29,129
Well, tell her to hurry up and produce
something, then.

390
00:20:29,130 --> 00:20:31,300
You can't rush these things. They take
time.

391
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:33,880
Well, I hope they don't take as long as
Mike.

392
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,230
I was having false alarms with him for a
fortnight.

393
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:38,870
Fortnight?

394
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,300
Still, it was worth it.

395
00:20:40,301 --> 00:20:44,339
The midwife said he had the choppiest
cheeks and the biggest grin she'd ever

396
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:46,750
seen. She must have been holding him
upside down.

397
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,060
Is everything all right, Daddy?

398
00:20:51,061 --> 00:20:53,219
Don't tell me you're still at it down
there.

399
00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:55,959
Well, they'll be going in a minute. It's
nearly one o 'clock. Would you tell

400
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:59,379
them to keep the noise down, please?
I've tried, but they just didn't believe

401
00:20:59,380 --> 00:21:02,870
when I said that my father was upstairs
in bed nursing a pregnant fish.

402
00:21:02,871 --> 00:21:06,849
Right, we're going to go home now. This
minute. And close the door, please.

403
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:07,900
There's a draft.

404
00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:12,380
I'm going to sleep now, Sid. So you'd
better wake me if anything happens.

405
00:21:12,390 --> 00:21:14,170
It's likely to happen 48 times.

406
00:21:14,650 --> 00:21:16,430
Oh, it's too much, Sid.

407
00:21:16,810 --> 00:21:20,510
Well, go to sleep. I can manage. Just
cover me up. Come on. Cover me up.

408
00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:22,500
That's it. Thank you.

409
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,000
Jane! Jane!

410
00:21:27,230 --> 00:21:28,290
Jane, keep still!

411
00:21:30,261 --> 00:21:32,279
Stop it!

412
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,330
You're making waves.

413
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,500
Sid? Oh, blimey, now what?

414
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,620
You sure that bowl isn't leaking?

415
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,900
Leaking? Of course it's not leaking.

416
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,380
The bed's all damp at your side.

417
00:21:50,620 --> 00:21:51,670
I know, it's me.

418
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:53,270
Sid!

419
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,960
Oh, no, no, I'm sweating.

420
00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:57,900
It's bloody hot under here.

421
00:21:58,120 --> 00:21:59,620
Well, there's no need to shout.

422
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,780
Cover me up, please. Please, thank you.

423
00:22:02,330 --> 00:22:03,380
Thank you.

424
00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:04,800
Good night.

425
00:22:09,050 --> 00:22:15,030
Any news, Jane?

426
00:22:15,270 --> 00:22:17,980
I don't know. He was still asleep when I
came down. Yeah?

427
00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:19,550
Do you want to come up? Oh, yeah.

428
00:22:34,199 --> 00:22:35,249
37 of them.

429
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,370
All boys.

430
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:40,890
How's Trish?

431
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,970
She's fine. I'll take her back in the
tank.

432
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:44,430
Mike! Sally!

433
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:46,740
Hi. They all look like you, see.

434
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,910
No, thank you, Mickey. I've been up all
night.

435
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,210
Would you like some tea, Sid? No,
thanks. I haven't got the strength.

436
00:22:58,140 --> 00:23:00,160
Look. Oh, how they're sweet.

437
00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:01,510
How many?

438
00:23:01,690 --> 00:23:03,470
You've got 37 little brothers.

439
00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:06,770
When was the happy event, Dad?

440
00:23:07,070 --> 00:23:08,830
Oh, it started about 4 .30.

441
00:23:09,590 --> 00:23:11,830
Well, about 4 .31, 4 .32.

442
00:23:12,130 --> 00:23:15,210
All right, all right, take it easy. You
look shattered. I am.

443
00:23:15,710 --> 00:23:17,030
Let's see how Fred is, then.

444
00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:18,930
Would you like some tea, Trevor?

445
00:23:19,010 --> 00:23:21,240
Oh, no, thanks, Gina. I just had my
breakfast.

446
00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:22,800
Hello?

447
00:23:22,950 --> 00:23:24,550
Hello? What, what?

448
00:23:24,790 --> 00:23:26,590
I don't know how to tell you this, Sid.

449
00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:27,740
Tell me what?

450
00:23:28,230 --> 00:23:31,000
Well, there's another six in here, up
the bloody spout.

451
00:23:37,971 --> 00:23:40,069
Laba.

452
00:23:40,070 --> 00:23:44,620
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